52 ACTS OF KINDNESS AND REMEMBERANCE

It's New Years Eve 2012. Time to be asked over and over again what our New Year's resolution is. First of all, it may be more interesting to ask if anyone remembers there resolution from last year. How often have you heard of anyone that actually followed through with their resolution? Maybe its because most of the things we choose pertain only to ourselves. We resolve to lose weight, get in shape, stop smoking, stop drinking, etc. etc. When is the last time your resolution pertained to doing something for others?

In response to the Sandy Hook Elementary tragedy Ann Curry, of NBC News, challenged everyone to do 26 acts of kindness to honor each of the victims from the tragedy. Ms. Curry describes her inspiration and intent for this in a great article here.

My New Years resolution is to double Ann Curry's request and do 52 acts of kindness/remembrance (one for each week of the year). My intention is to do something to honor, support and/or remember a law enforcement or military hero who has sacrificed their own well being and in many cases their lives so that we may live in peace and freedom. I want to show my appreciation to these individuals and share their story with as many people as possible. So, I encourage you to please follow the blog and share the stories with as many people as possible so that the sacrifices these heroes made will always be appreciated and never be forgotten.

I also encourage you to find inspiration from this effort and commit your own acts of kindness and remembrance and share your stories in this forum so we can honor as many heroes as possible.

Happy New Year.

"Feel GD"

The Peace Tree

Two weeks ago today I attended my office Christmas party. It was a great night with friends filled with the joy of the season. The next day while feeling "a little under the weather" from partaking in too much of the previous nights festivities, I made my way into work. When I arrived several co-workers were gathered around a T.V. watching the live footage from Sandy Hook Elementary. "Did you hear what happened?" they asked. The synopsis that followed was more than I could process. An elementary school? First graders? 26 people? 11 days before Christmas. Times like this  have a way of making us question our faith. How could something so horrible happen to so many innocent people? Children?

So, I would like to share some observations I brought home from Newtown. If you are religious or spiritual you may find some extra meaning.

• On Christmas day we paid one last visit to the memorials. In front of the town hall a "Peace Tree" had been created where many thoughtful ornaments paying tribute to the victims had been hung. Nearby was a woman who had set up a table and was giving away home made cookies. She was appropriately named "Faith." Faith is a teacher who lives in Phoenix, Arizona. Like Taylor and I she traveled to Newtown to spend Christmas because she needed to "do something." 

Taylor and I with Faith, a teacher from Phoenix who traveled to Newtown on Christmas to hand out home made cookies.

• When we returned to the main area of memorials in Sandy Hook Christmas morning a man had brought his piano and set it up next to the memorial.  We stood mesmerized by his music for quite a while. Silent Night, O' Holy Night, to name a few, together in the setting of the gently rolling river nearby brought a great sense of peace over us. 

• Before leaving to come home on Christmas morning we left a new teddy bear under each of the 26 Christmas trees that lined the road to the elementary school. As we waited to make a turn at the main intersection in town where the majority of people congregate around memorials my eyes were drawn to the license plate on the car directly in front of us.

Nike has a slogan, "Just do it." Three simple words that capture an attitude of achievement. As I continued through the day on December 14th, everywhere I went people were staring at the news accounts on the television, the same looks of disbelief on all of their faces. By the time I arrived home at the end of the day I had inadvertently created my own two simple word slogan, "Do something." I was not yet sure of what I was going to do, but I was absolutely determined to do something! There are so many things that could be done for the people of Newtown/Sandy Hook. Numerous funds have been established to help the families of the victims or to support charities related to special interests the victims had. All are very worthy causes. But for me I wanted to do something more personal than anonymously sitting at a computer and punching in my credit card information. I wanted to rally a community far removed from Newtown, Connecticut and bring our message of love and support personally to them so that they would realize that an entire nation was grieving with them and they were not alone. The greatest attribute of the human spirit is that it grows stronger in the face of evil. One evil act has led to countless acts of kindness and compassion  and that is the only way for those directly affected by the Sandy Hook incident to ever regain any sense of normalcy and purpose. I hope this blog has helped to make the dozens of you who contributed to this effort feel connected and that you too were delivering a personal message and not an anonymous contribution. As we move forward I would encourage everyone to continue to "do something." There are so many people in need and so many worthy causes to support. It does not always have to be monetary gestures. Often the most valuable thing we can contribute is our time. Even if it is taking a moment to call a friend or send a card to someone who is struggling. Maybe if we all commit to more consciously "doing something" kind and positive we will someday rediscover a world where incidents like Sandy Hook are not as common.

One last personal note. So often when tragedy strikes we say to ourselves and each other, "go home and hug your kids." Having my daughter with me all along the way during this experience has been the greatest "hug" I could ever imagine. I thank all of those who so graciously gave to this cause for helping make this possible.

I hope you have found this blog informative and will sign up to "follow" it. If you have read any of the entries prior to Sandy Hook you will see that it often focuses on human interest stories related to law enforcement. I would love for the following to continue to grow and bring awareness and appreciation to those I write about. Some still with us who could use your thoughts and prayers; and some who have passed but should be honored and remembered.

I would also welcome your comments. I wish everyone a safe and happy new year.

"I Don't Think I Will Ever Get Those Images Out of My Head"

As a police officer for more than 20 years whenever I hear of an incident like Sandy Hook in addition to feeling great sadness and concern for the victims and their families, one of my first thoughts is how are the first responders doing? In addition to the victims, media attention seems to focus more on the suspect and gun control and rarely acknowledges the first responders and the extremely difficult job they do. We all take the horrifying details of the incident in from a distance and it jolts us to our core. Imagine then what it must be like for the officers who were the first ones to arrive at the school. Our first stop on this trip was at the Connecticut State Police barrack located  just a few minutes from Newtown. Every trooper working at this post on December 14th, responded to the shooting in progress call, many were among the first officers on the scene. For most of the days since then many of these troopers have remained intimately involved in the investigation. Taylor and I were fortunate enough to spend some time with a few of the Troopers that were on the scene. They are still visibly shaken by what they saw. Whether they like the police or not, the public holds officers to a certain standard of integrity, bravery and ability to remain calm and collected under the worst of circumstances. And to our credit not a day goes by that officers across the country not only meet, but exceed these high standards under the most difficult and stressful of circumstances. But although we are conditioned to control our emotions and perform professionally no matter what comes our way, at the end of the day we are human, just like everyone else. Those of us who have followed this story in the media only imagine how horrific the scene inside that school was. These officers experienced it. They escorted horrified children from the building. They witnessed the unthinkable carnage. They diligently and thoroughly processed that scene for days after the event, making sure the investigation was conducted in the most impeccable and complete manner possible. We look at the innocent smiles of the child victims in their school pictures that are flashed across our T.V. screens and it breaks our hearts. Imagine how these officers last saw them. One officer sadly stated, "I don't know how I will ever get those images out of my head." Another wept as he recounted his interaction with a little boy from Ms. Soto's class when the officer returned his backpack to him earlier that day.

Taylor and I with some of Connecticut's  finest State Troopers. Several of these Troopers were among the first on the scene at Sandy Hook Elementary

After visiting with the CT State Troopers we made our way into town and began visiting the memorials. We personally handed gift cards to every police officer and firefighter we encountered. They were genuinely grateful for the support. What stood out to me the most was that there were no Newtown Police Officers in the town. Every officer we encountered was from a neighboring jurisdiction, many of them volunteering to be there on Christmas Eve and Christmas day so that their brother/sister officers of Newtown could be with their families. To those of you who are police officers or from police families you will not be at all surprised by this. This is an example of why I became a police officer and why after all these years I am still passionate about my job. In no other profession does the phrase, "we take care of our own" apply more. This unity and camaraderie is in no small part one of the strongest motivating factors for me to take on this endeavor. So many times during my career I have been on the receiving end of this support from members of other agencies. It is my duty to be there for them when they are in need. A further example of this attitude was displayed when we went to the Newtown police station and offered a gift card to a volunteering officer from a neighboring jurisdiction. The officer politely declined and stated, "take them into the station and leave them for the Newtown guys, they need it more than me."

I would be remiss if I did not mention that the residents of Newtown and the surrounding area have been extremely supportive of the first responders. Both police facilities we visited are overflowing with food. During the hour visit we had at the CSP barrack at least four people continued to add to the food supply. Gourmet desserts, shrimp platters, and one of the largest arrays of Christmas cookies I have ever seen were among the donations. It would only be appropriate for me to also thank the many of you that contributed generously to this cause. We were able to distribute gift cards to at least 100 officers and dozens of firefighters as a small token of support and appreciation. These gifts and our efforts were genuinely appreciated. When I awoke on Christmas morning the following text message from one of the Troopers we met with was on my phone:

"Mark-it was a great honor to have met you and Taylor yesterday. We can't thank you and your community enough for what you do for people like our first responders. Your trip up here on Christmas eve is truly a message for us from our Lord and he has sent both of you as messengers to show us there is still much love..."

Thank you for letting us be your messengers!  My next entry will hold some final thoughts about this experience.

Anywhere But Here

Newtown and Sandy Hook are small towns separated only by Interstate 84. Where one town ends and the other begins is indiscernible; they are very much one community. It is the kind of community depicted on toy train displays next to Christmas trees at a local volunteer firehouse. They are the kinds of towns that inspire movies like "It's a Wonderful Life," and Norman Rockwell paintings. They are the kind of towns where everyone knows each other and looks out for one another. This is the kind of community that people seek out to raise their children in. You will not find Wal-Mart or Target here. Instead there is a "General" store. No Toys R Us either. Instead there is "The Toy Tree," a local toy store whose Christmas business was devastated when media trucks overtook the town and blocked the storefront as well as cutting off parking around the store. There is an American flag that flies prominently in the middle of Main St. in Newtown against the backdrop of a rustic church that displays a sign in front that reads "Newtown Meeting House 1793." One can only imagine the things that have been prayed for in that building for over 200 years. And what is prayed for inside there on this Christmas day. The Newtown Bee, the local newspaper is housed in a quaint one story red cottage with an antique town clock on the sidewalk in front of it. Sandy Hook has a beautiful river that runs right through the middle of town. The river is now the backdrop of one of the many impromptu memorials of signs, teddy bears, ornaments and other thoughtful items left to remember the victims.

Newtown General Store

Main St. Newtown

The Newtown Bee

The Toy Tree (Sandy Hook)

"Downtown" Sandy Hook

It is easy to discern the local residents from the many out of town people like us who have come to pay respects. The out of towner's have mournful faces filled with sadness. The local people have vacant stares with looks of disbelief, shock and horror. They move slowly along the memorials as if on autopilot. There were several small children crying and being consoled by parents. Most likely schoolmates of the victims. How could someone steal the innocence of these children? How can we ever imagine our six year old spending Christmas this way? There is a palpable quiet in the town. It is haunting. There is an endless line of people visiting the makeshift monuments, but no one speaks.    At the main four way intersection in town there are four police officers directing traffic. But even the traffic is eerily calm. The motorists move very slowly and quietly so as not to disturb what is going on and the officers also very stoic and quiet make sure pedestrians are able to safely cross from one side of the street to the other and continue viewing the seemingly endless line of mementos piled in honor of the victims. 

For me, besides the loss of 26 innocent lives, the cruelest thing to come from this is that such a quiet, peaceful town will forever be linked with such a horrendous event. The last place on earth you would ever expect this to happen.

My next entry will address our interaction with the first responders. Thank you for following us and for being a part of this.

When Words Are Not Enough

We arrived in Newtown this afternoon. There is a steady stream of visitors paying their respects. There is an endless array of memorials all throughout the town. Despite there being hundreds of people walking along the street viewing the memorials there is a very eerie quiet throughout the town. Everyone here is numb. I can't find the words right now to express what Taylor and I have experienced today so until I do I will let these pictures speak for us. May you all have a peaceful Christmas Eve.

"That's Who We Are"

     (1) email; (4) days; (over $6000); (over 100 toys)

That's right...the generosity of so many people is absolutely amazing. What started with an email stating Taylor and my intentions to travel to Newtown and our desire to deliver gifts to many of the people most intimately affected by the tragedy, has culminated in a pick up truck load of toys and thousands of dollars in gift cards to be donated to teachers, firefighters and police officers. All in just four days. Four of the busiest days of the year, and yet so many people found time, no, made time, to give to this cause. The first day after the email was sent I arrived home with my Trailblazer literally filled to the ceiling with toys and my front seat lost in a sea of gift cards. Later that evening I met up with a friend and fellow officer and told him how incredible the initial response had been. I told him I could not believe how many people wanted to be a part of this. His response was poignant; " That's who we are." His words only reiterated what I already knew. Police Officers are often chastised as insensitive, cynical and many other derogatory words. Yet, time and again I have witnessed our law enforcement family come together to support those in need. More than one of the officers I collected donations from literally cried because they were so upset about the tragedy and so moved by our efforts. Nothing insensitive about that. 

But this has been about much more than the police community and their generosity. It has been about a community and its generosity. Its about the owner of Fun and Games toy store who gave several boxes of nice new toys for the cause. Its about the random stranger in the toy store who overheard a conversation about the trip and offered up $25 on the spot. Its about the employees of Sandy Spring Bank whom I know from personal experience give generously to many causes throughout the year and were able to come up with several hundred dollars and three bags of toys in less than 24 hours. Its about the child that asks that their gift card be given specifically to a male teacher because she has been so impressed by her male math teacher. Its the neighbor that hears what you are doing and insists on being included. There are so many people within the police department and in the community as a whole who have given generously.

In sum, its the human experience that makes this so special. During one of my many stops to pick up donations I had a conversation with a woman whose best friend worked with my father at Holy Cross Hospital. She told me how her friend has often talked about what a good man my father was. My father passed away three years ago and it was the single greatest loss I have ever experienced. It was such a gift to hear from someone that my dad had touched their life. For that I am especially grateful to have become involved in this cause. 

Taylor writing thank you cards to the Sandy Hook Elementary teachers and enclosing gift cards.

       

Doing Something for Newtown

                                            

As you probably know by now my daughter, Taylor, and I have decided to collect donations and travel to Newport, CT on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts to the teachers of Sandy Hook Elementary School, the police  and fire rescue personnel and to take toys to the children of the community. The response we have received has been nothing short of overwhelming (more on that later). But the most appropriate place to start writing about our mission is to answer the question I have received over and over the past few days; "What made you decide to do this? Do you have a connection to that area?" The answer to the second part of the question is no. I mean, yes. Let me explain. I do not know anyone from the Newtown, CT area nor do I have any family from the area. So, in that sense, no I do not have a connection to the area. However, I am a father, a police officer and a teacher; therefore, yes, I have quite a significant connection to the area ever since last Friday.

Lately I have found myself caught up in my own problems and somewhat indifferent to the world around me. But recently a friend posted a quote on Facebook that said something like, "If we all put our problems into one big pile, we would probably quickly try to take ours back." I read that quote the day before the unthinkable tragedy happened at Sandy Hook. It stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Then the news broke the following day. Sadly, active shooters in public places have become so common place in our society that at first glance it seems we are almost becoming desensitized to how horrifying such an event is. But this one was different. Not to diminish any of the other tragedies that involved active shooters, but this one specifically targeted children....babies. Not only were many beautiful, joyful children killed. But so many that survived have had their innocence stolen from them. Could a parent ever send their child off to kindergarten or first grade with their Spider Man or Hello Kitty lunch boxes and backpacks and even fathom that the child would not come home that day? And so, as a parent of an 8 year old, I sat in her school auditorium the other day watching she and her classmates jubilantly singing and dancing during their holiday show and I held back tears the whole time wondering how anyone could ever bring such carnage to such a peaceful and innocent setting. Perhaps even more disturbing, one of my next thoughts was "I did not wear my gun here, what if something happens?" How sad that as a police officer I must constantly be on alert for an active shooter wherever I go, including the peaceful setting of my daughters elementary school.

I have been a part time teacher for the past ten years. While at the holiday show I also watched the teachers scurrying around to make sure the kids were in the right places and subtly reminding them of their lines when they forgot them. I thought about how blessed we are to have so many teachers devoted to their careers and to shaping our children into caring and responsible people. I related with them in the sense that those we teach we think of in some way as our own. We take responsibility in making sure they are cared for, treated respectfully and safe. And I wondered how the teachers of Sandy Hook can ever recover from this incident. I thought about the heroic effort of the teacher that hid her children in the closet and lied to the shooter about where they were....and gave her life so that her students would be cared for, treated respectfully and safe.






Finally, as a police officer I have done and seen many things in my over 20 year career. As a patrol officer I have been first on the scene of horrific crimes. One incident that has burned an impression in my mind was the death of a three year old girl many years ago. I have never quite been able to get over the sadness I felt as I looked at that lifeless child. I had a three year old daughter myself at the time. How could I ever put that incident in the context of what happened to all those children at Sandy Hook and what the first responder's at that scene must be dealing with. I have also been a homicide detective in my career. Without question the absolute worst duty to perform is to notify someone that a family member has died. I can not begin to imagine how difficult it must have been to notify 20 sets of parents that their small children had died in this unthinkable way. Nor to tell the family of six devoted teachers with so much still to offer the world that they too had died in such a senseless manner.

And so, as a parent, a teacher and a police officer, yes, I have a strong connection to Newtown, CT.

My three year old that I mentioned is now 20 years old and is my partner in this mission. She is no small contributor to my inspiration for doing this.

Please continue to follow Taylor and my journey through this blog. You have all been so generous and kind and are all part of this journey with us. We think of ourselves as the messengers for you all and hope you will stay connected with us.

Why We Lose the War on Drugs

    So what ever happened to the war on drugs? Obviously after 9/11 our law enforcement priorities took a sharp turn in a different direction. But now, 11 years later, though there is still a pressing need to remain vigilant against terrorist threats, we should be able to re-focus some attention on combating drug trafficking. The drug trafficking industry remains as viable as ever and in many instances more violent. Thoughtful arguments rage on concerning the impact of legalizing drugs or at least decriminalizing personal use amounts. This is not intended to take a position in that argument; rather to refocus our attention to impacting drug traffickers responsible for the scourge created in many of our communities by the physical, social and emotional impact left in the wake of hard core drug addiction.

     The fundamental question every front line law enforcement officer must ask themselves is why do we lose this war? I propose two answers for this question. First, drug traffickers are more innovative and versatile than law enforcement. Second, they want to win more than we do.

    Those of us in law enforcement tend to be type "A" personalities with great confidence in our skills and abilities and often an unrealistic sense of our effectiveness. But at the same time we sell ourselves short by succumbing to attitudes such as "we only catch the dumb ones." Is that what we aspire to do? How can a war be won if we only catch the dumb ones? Are we conceding that the smart ones are smarter than us? In my estimation it is not that they are smarter than us, it is that they are more innovative, creative and flexible in their methods of operation than we are. A drug trafficker is only limited by their imagination in coming up with methods to communicate with co-conspirators, transport their product to areas of demand, distribute the product to customers, and manage the substantial financial aspect of the business without being detected. With these four key elements of drug trafficking in mind (communication, transportation, distribution, finances) it may be a useful exercise to ask yourself, "How would I do it?" Or better yet, "If the consequences of failing included losing my livelihood and freedom how would I do it?" If we want to catch the smart ones, we must think like the smart ones. When you have developed ideas that answer the question of how you would do it if losing your livelihood and freedom were at stake then focus your enforcement efforts in those areas. For instance, maybe you decided you would only text message your associates rather than speak on the phone and risk possibly being intercepted by a wiretap. With that in mind, are you routinely seizing cellphones from those you arrest for drug violations and legally searching the contents (particularly text messages) to gain potentially invaluable intelligence and evidence? Or, maybe you decided you would send your product in parcels through the mail to minimize your physical handling and involvement in transporting the product. If so, are you routinely patrolling and conducting surveillance on the parcel shipment businesses in your community? Are you cultivating informants from the employees at these businesses? You see, it does not take rocket science to win this, just good old fashioned and innovative police work.

    As for who wants to win more..it may come down to understanding who has more to lose. The drug trafficker is at risk of losing their livelihood and freedom. It is difficult to come up with a pair of motivators greater than this. However, what do we stand to lose? Is our world going to drastically change if we choose to apply marginal if any effort towards proactive drug enforcement? In the short term probably not. But viewed in a broader sense we potentially have so much more to lose. First and foremost, we could lose our life by not being as well trained and sharp with our observation skills and knowledge of drug trafficking methods of operations. The failure to recognize clues related to drug trafficking could mean the failure to survive when unwittingly confronting an individual conducting an act that could cost them their livelihood and freedom if they fail. Perhaps taking deadly action against an officer who threatens this is their only perceived way of survival. In addition, we are each impacted at a personal level by the fallout of drug abuse in our communities. Most recently for me this has come with the news that a friend and colleague in the law enforcement community lost a son to a heroin overdose after many years of struggling with addiction, stints in prison, and leaving a family in constant despair. My friend, who is a retired officer, will now not only deal with the grief of losing a child, but also the stress of raising his two grandchildren that were left behind. This is certainly not the retirement life my friend envision. I submit, that we indeed should want to win the war as much as our opponents and should be even more diligent and aggressive in locating, investigating and prosecuting drug traffickers.