Doing Something for Newtown

                                            

As you probably know by now my daughter, Taylor, and I have decided to collect donations and travel to Newport, CT on Christmas Eve to deliver gifts to the teachers of Sandy Hook Elementary School, the police  and fire rescue personnel and to take toys to the children of the community. The response we have received has been nothing short of overwhelming (more on that later). But the most appropriate place to start writing about our mission is to answer the question I have received over and over the past few days; "What made you decide to do this? Do you have a connection to that area?" The answer to the second part of the question is no. I mean, yes. Let me explain. I do not know anyone from the Newtown, CT area nor do I have any family from the area. So, in that sense, no I do not have a connection to the area. However, I am a father, a police officer and a teacher; therefore, yes, I have quite a significant connection to the area ever since last Friday.

Lately I have found myself caught up in my own problems and somewhat indifferent to the world around me. But recently a friend posted a quote on Facebook that said something like, "If we all put our problems into one big pile, we would probably quickly try to take ours back." I read that quote the day before the unthinkable tragedy happened at Sandy Hook. It stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Then the news broke the following day. Sadly, active shooters in public places have become so common place in our society that at first glance it seems we are almost becoming desensitized to how horrifying such an event is. But this one was different. Not to diminish any of the other tragedies that involved active shooters, but this one specifically targeted children....babies. Not only were many beautiful, joyful children killed. But so many that survived have had their innocence stolen from them. Could a parent ever send their child off to kindergarten or first grade with their Spider Man or Hello Kitty lunch boxes and backpacks and even fathom that the child would not come home that day? And so, as a parent of an 8 year old, I sat in her school auditorium the other day watching she and her classmates jubilantly singing and dancing during their holiday show and I held back tears the whole time wondering how anyone could ever bring such carnage to such a peaceful and innocent setting. Perhaps even more disturbing, one of my next thoughts was "I did not wear my gun here, what if something happens?" How sad that as a police officer I must constantly be on alert for an active shooter wherever I go, including the peaceful setting of my daughters elementary school.

I have been a part time teacher for the past ten years. While at the holiday show I also watched the teachers scurrying around to make sure the kids were in the right places and subtly reminding them of their lines when they forgot them. I thought about how blessed we are to have so many teachers devoted to their careers and to shaping our children into caring and responsible people. I related with them in the sense that those we teach we think of in some way as our own. We take responsibility in making sure they are cared for, treated respectfully and safe. And I wondered how the teachers of Sandy Hook can ever recover from this incident. I thought about the heroic effort of the teacher that hid her children in the closet and lied to the shooter about where they were....and gave her life so that her students would be cared for, treated respectfully and safe.






Finally, as a police officer I have done and seen many things in my over 20 year career. As a patrol officer I have been first on the scene of horrific crimes. One incident that has burned an impression in my mind was the death of a three year old girl many years ago. I have never quite been able to get over the sadness I felt as I looked at that lifeless child. I had a three year old daughter myself at the time. How could I ever put that incident in the context of what happened to all those children at Sandy Hook and what the first responder's at that scene must be dealing with. I have also been a homicide detective in my career. Without question the absolute worst duty to perform is to notify someone that a family member has died. I can not begin to imagine how difficult it must have been to notify 20 sets of parents that their small children had died in this unthinkable way. Nor to tell the family of six devoted teachers with so much still to offer the world that they too had died in such a senseless manner.

And so, as a parent, a teacher and a police officer, yes, I have a strong connection to Newtown, CT.

My three year old that I mentioned is now 20 years old and is my partner in this mission. She is no small contributor to my inspiration for doing this.

Please continue to follow Taylor and my journey through this blog. You have all been so generous and kind and are all part of this journey with us. We think of ourselves as the messengers for you all and hope you will stay connected with us.