Wednesday, December 26, 2012

"I Don't Think I Will Ever Get Those Images Out of My Head"


As a police officer for more than 20 years whenever I hear of an incident like Sandy Hook in addition to feeling great sadness and concern for the victims and their families, one of my first thoughts is how are the first responders doing? In addition to the victims, media attention seems to focus more on the suspect and gun control and rarely acknowledges the first responders and the extremely difficult job they do. We all take the horrifying details of the incident in from a distance and it jolts us to our core. Imagine then what it must be like for the officers who were the first ones to arrive at the school. Our first stop on this trip was at the Connecticut State Police barrack located  just a few minutes from Newtown. Every trooper working at this post on December 14th, responded to the shooting in progress call, many were among the first officers on the scene. For most of the days since then many of these troopers have remained intimately involved in the investigation. Taylor and I were fortunate enough to spend some time with a few of the Troopers that were on the scene. They are still visibly shaken by what they saw. Whether they like the police or not, the public holds officers to a certain standard of integrity, bravery and ability to remain calm and collected under the worst of circumstances. And to our credit not a day goes by that officers across the country not only meet, but exceed these high standards under the most difficult and stressful of circumstances. But although we are conditioned to control our emotions and perform professionally no matter what comes our way, at the end of the day we are human, just like everyone else. Those of us who have followed this story in the media only imagine how horrific the scene inside that school was. These officers experienced it. They escorted horrified children from the building. They witnessed the unthinkable carnage. They diligently and thoroughly processed that scene for days after the event, making sure the investigation was conducted in the most impeccable and complete manner possible. We look at the innocent smiles of the child victims in their school pictures that are flashed across our T.V. screens and it breaks our hearts. Imagine how these officers last saw them. One officer sadly stated, "I don't know how I will ever get those images out of my head." Another wept as he recounted his interaction with a little boy from Ms. Soto's class when the officer returned his backpack to him earlier that day.

Taylor and I with some of Connecticut's  finest State Troopers. Several of these Troopers were among the first on the scene at Sandy Hook Elementary

After visiting with the CT State Troopers we made our way into town and began visiting the memorials. We personally handed gift cards to every police officer and firefighter we encountered. They were genuinely grateful for the support. What stood out to me the most was that there were no Newtown Police Officers in the town. Every officer we encountered was from a neighboring jurisdiction, many of them volunteering to be there on Christmas Eve and Christmas day so that their brother/sister officers of Newtown could be with their families. To those of you who are police officers or from police families you will not be at all surprised by this. This is an example of why I became a police officer and why after all these years I am still passionate about my job. In no other profession does the phrase, "we take care of our own" apply more. This unity and camaraderie is in no small part one of the strongest motivating factors for me to take on this endeavor. So many times during my career I have been on the receiving end of this support from members of other agencies. It is my duty to be there for them when they are in need. A further example of this attitude was displayed when we went to the Newtown police station and offered a gift card to a volunteering officer from a neighboring jurisdiction. The officer politely declined and stated, "take them into the station and leave them for the Newtown guys, they need it more than me."


I would be remiss if I did not mention that the residents of Newtown and the surrounding area have been extremely supportive of the first responders. Both police facilities we visited are overflowing with food. During the hour visit we had at the CSP barrack at least four people continued to add to the food supply. Gourmet desserts, shrimp platters, and one of the largest arrays of Christmas cookies I have ever seen were among the donations. It would only be appropriate for me to also thank the many of you that contributed generously to this cause. We were able to distribute gift cards to at least 100 officers and dozens of firefighters as a small token of support and appreciation. These gifts and our efforts were genuinely appreciated. When I awoke on Christmas morning the following text message from one of the Troopers we met with was on my phone:

"Mark-it was a great honor to have met you and Taylor yesterday. We can't thank you and your community enough for what you do for people like our first responders. Your trip up here on Christmas eve is truly a message for us from our Lord and he has sent both of you as messengers to show us there is still much love..."

Thank you for letting us be your messengers!  My next entry will hold some final thoughts about this experience.

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